Updated: Jun 1
Has anyone ever said to you, “You don’t give yourself enough credit.” I’ll bet they have.
If you’re anything like me, I never wanted to be the center of attention. There was a job to do, and I did it. To add insult to injury, I would often shy away from compliments or accolades on a job well done in an effort not to call any more attention myself.
That was fine. For a while. I guess.
Over time, it got easier to accept a compliment or the accolades, but I didn’t really embrace them, run with them, internalize them. Once again, I was just acknowledging that I’d done what needed to be done.
It’s just in the last few years that I’ve begun to take a revised stance on this approach. No, I haven’t gotten a big head nor do I go around asking everyone how great they think I am. I started looking at all I was doing and began to realize I have actually accomplished a lot. And it all turned out pretty well. I’ve had help with some things, and others I’ve just had to jump in with both feet and figure it out. In the thick of some of those things, I wasn’t sure if I’d met my Waterloo but somehow it all came together.
Take for example the challenges I had (and still have,) with parenting a “unique” child. It was all supposed to go like clockwork, you know? Have a kid, everyone is happy and it’s all kisses and snuggles. Then, life happened. One ADHD diagnosis later and it was rough there for a while, but I dug in and found a way to manage it (you’ll notice I didn’t say solve), and we do the very best we can every day and that’s something to be proud of, but I didn’t claim it.
In all that chaos I gained a lot of weight and got really unhealthy. I could have just let it go but I found a way to eat better, move more, face the stress head on and get back to a place where I felt good and could manage my eating as well as my emotions and stress. That’s something to be proud of, but I didn’t claim it.
This all occurred as I was trying to do the very best I could to be the very best professional version of myself in an industry in which I knew very little about the science, but could manage a process from soup to nuts. That skillset helped me navigate through a succession of great, challenging roles and with the help and confidence of my peers and leadership, I did well. That’s something to be proud of. But still, I didn’t claim it.
It took some time, but it finally dawned on me that while I was always playing small, my actions were speaking loudly. Loud enough to finally make me realize that I had achieved a lot and I could achieve more. It was this realization that gave me the confidence to go back to school, change my career, and start a coaching business. And guess what, I claim it.
I started this new business journey with a passion to help others, and no clue as to how to start a business. I got busy learning as much as I could, planning as much as possible, and telling myself every day, “You got this!”
Okay, some days, I don’t got this! LOL! 😊But I get up and do life every day. I get up and try, personally and professionally. I don’t lose hope. I don't lose my sh#t over little stuff. I take a few things off my "to do" list every day and I ask for help with others. I’m proud of how far I’ve come and every day I’m proud that I did it. I claim it.
It’s not that I think I’m going to be the next Deepak Chopra or anything, it’s that I think I have something of value to bring to others, that gives me purpose, and that purpose requires confidence. Confidence that requires you to be proud of yourself and your efforts. Confidence to accept the good and the bad, the compliments and the accolades as well as the miscalculations and missteps.
When you have been used to lurking in the shadows, the spotlight can be a little blinding and intimidating. So how do you build up that confidence to be proud of you?
Get Things Done. Confidence is built on accomplishment.
Monitor Your Progress. The best way to reach your goals, big or small, is break them into smaller goals and to monitor your progress. Baby steps.
Be kind to yourself.
Speak up for yourself.
Recognize your strengths and work within them.
Follow through on your plans and promises.
Let go of limiting situations and relationships.
Work with a coach.
Find your “cheerleaders” or “tribe.” They are out there!
These are just a few of the steps I’ve taken over the last several years that have taken me from “face in the crowd,” to sitting in the front row of my life. The view is pretty good from here and looks better every day.
Stop playing small and step into your power! You get it done every day. From the smallest of details to the most giant projects. Be proud. Your “routine day” may look like a Masterclass to someone else. Make sure to give yourself the credit you deserve for being the big deal you are!
Need support in getting back to a more confident you? Book a complimentary consultation call now to learn how I can help in reminding you to shine a little light on all you do!
How do you build confidence and put yourself first? Leave a comment below to share with others readers to help support their journey. I’d love to read them!
Take care and be well,