Yoga pants, moms love them. Sweatpants, a favorite of both moms and dads. Both will become our undoing. Literally and figuratively!
Thanks to the pandemic, Athleisure ranks really high on the list of preferred clothing options now. Many of us put it on back in 2020 and we have yet to take it off.
I feel ya. They are comfy, they are easy, they let you off the hook. Throw on a decent looking top and we’ve convinced ourselves we’re ready for a night out on the town. But that’s where we’re wrong, and I found out the hard way.
Parents! Wear real clothes occasionally!
We’re not good at dressing anymore, we're out of practice, and we’re not setting a good example for our kids either. We can’t be mad when we ask them to put on something nice and they come downstairs wearing a Vineyard Vines shirt, shorts, and checkerboard Vans. That’s what they have gotten used to seeing us in most of the time.
It wasn’t a kid’s outfit that opened my eyes to this, it was my own wardrobe malfunction.
My husband and I had a rare night out. I put on a blouse, some slacks, a light jacket, and real shoes. Yes, the ones that make your feet hurt!
We had a wonderful evening catching up with friends, eating great food, and listening to good music. It wasn’t until I got home that I noticed: my pants had been unzipped, likely most of the evening!
I would love to say I had gone to the ladies’ room and forgotten to zip them, but I never went to the ladies room while I was at the venue. (I think I’m part camel since I’m good at long stretches between bathroom breaks). So, it occurred to me, I left the house that way. Mad dromedary skills aside, I was mortified!
I had become so accustomed to just pulling on pants that I forgot to zip them! Toddlers forget to zip their pants! I’m a grown woman!
In my panic, I asked my husband if he noticed my zipper was open all night, unfortunately, he did not.
Oh Lord! How many people saw me that way and said nothing out of pure embarrassment for me? I don’t want to think about it! (Black pants, white undies. No, that flash of white they saw was not a designer detail!)
The point is, I’d become so out of practice in wearing decent clothes, I didn’t do the basics like, zip up my pants.
And it doesn’t end there. My other “ah-ha” moment was the day I “did” my hair for church. I was so proud of myself for squeezing in this little bit of self-care. Then, I realized, I only combed out the front and sides of my hair. This discovery was made only after returning home and catching a glimpse of my hair in the mirror when my back was turned while changing clothes. I went out in public like that. I must have looked like Medusa from the back!
It's times like these when I’m reminded that we, as parents, need to slow down and take a minute or two for ourselves. It’s a shame that we would have to think this way, but this is what it’s come to, and we see it all around us.
You know that one mom, the one that’s always telling you she didn’t get a shower today, she hasn’t brushed her teeth, and she hasn’t been out or had new clothes in years? That’s not sacrifice, that’s self-abuse. Not showering doesn’t make you a martyr, it just makes you stink!
There’s no glory or honor in being disheveled. What’s the ultimate goal? The first person that looks truly homeless wins? You’re the most dedicated parent because you’ve gone the longest without a haircut? No!
Self-care is turning some of the nurturing energy you give to your child, your spouse, and others, towards yourself. That means parents should have the time to:
Take a shower
Wash or style their hair
Eat a healthy meal
Have some alone time
Get a good night’s sleep
Wear real clothes (and zip their pants!)
Let’s change this.
Constantly rocking a baseball cap and sweatpants because everyone and everything else comes before you is no good.
Get your hair done, open that closet, dress sharp, zip up your pants, check yourself out from every angle in the mirror and smile. You’ll look better, you’ll feel better, and you’ll be better. Once that happens, everything around you will feel better too.
Show your spouse or partner that you’ve still got it and show the kids how it’s done while you're at it!
If you’re doing too much for others and letting your personal care slide in the process, working with Committed Change Health & Wellness can support you in putting things into perspective, setting boundaries, and taking care of you. Book a call with me and let’s talk about it.
Be Better4U to be Better4All!
I survived my “undoing,” and hope you will never have to experience the same.
Take care and be well,
Parent Health & Support Coach
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