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Parents: You’re Not Where You Thought You’d Be and That’s Okay

I’ll state that plainly once more; You’re not where you thought you’d be.

You know what, that’s because you never will be.


I know this sounds negative but it’s likely the greatest positive you will ever realize.


As we head into the end of another year, some of us will begin to take stock and think about where we are. The holidays are a time of reflection, celebration and planning and naturally looking forward to the year to come.


It’s also at this time where people will begin to look back at the year or the past few years with regret.


Regret for what they haven’t done, haven’t tried, their current circumstances and other “assumed” missed milestones. This is natural as well.


What people don’t realize is there’s no need for regret because we are constantly evolving. Additionally, we always have the option to change and move forward.


You’re not where you thought you’d be because we're never finished evolving. Any of us.


If you look at our lives, we are always moving to the next thing from the last thing. Even if we try to stop that process, we can't. It's out of our control.


Remember when you had big plans to get that new job, lose that weight, or take that trip? Well, if you achieved all those things, you're no longer there. You’ve moved on. Those “things” have passed you by, you have them, and you’re onto the next group of “things” you always thought you wanted. Will that be the end? Not likely.


This is a very important lesson for parents because in the throes of raising children, you give up a lot. You make sacrifices and changes in plans that you never thought you would make. There are days where you don’t quite recognize the face looking back at you in the mirror and you might stop and wonder, “What happened to my life? How did I end up here?"


I'll tell you how, you made plans, you did things, things happened, and here you stand. You are right on track for the journey you were meant to take.


Life is a constant state of movement and change. Even if things are worse now than they were last year, you’re definitely not where you thought you’d be. And guess what, you’re not likely to stay there unless you choose too. Every day we have a chance to change our circumstances and slowly but surely, sometimes without us even realizing it, things change on their own.


An example of this is my path to becoming a health coach. Back in 2019, I wasn’t where I wanted to be, not even close. However, I had no idea I would be sitting here in 2023, as a parent health coach, and running my own business.


As we sit here in December 2023, I’m not where I want to be either. How you may ask?


I’m looking to the future, hoping to coach more clients, do more public speaking, finish my book and maybe take a fun trip or two.


Does that make me ungrateful for what I have achieved? Does that make me greedy? I’ve come a long way from 2019 so shouldn’t I be happy where I am now?


Yes, I am happy where I am now, but there’s still more to do. Looking forward to new things makes me human and deep in the process of being a human that is growing, learning, trying new things and changing. Also, didn't John Lennon say it best in his song, "‘Life Is What Happens When You're Busy Making Other Plans?'"


The point is, as long as we have hopes, dreams, and ideas we will never be where we thought we would be. This requires a strong sense of faith and a fluid mindset to be open to the journey. We are along for the ride of wherever our thoughts and energy are guiding us toward; both good and bad.


Don’t get me wrong, this is not all about the manifestation of our deepest darkest desires and vision boards. This can also be about the choices we did not make and therefore we are not where we thought we’d be. That’s a natural part of life as well. The not-so-happy places we dwell in from time to time are a “wake up call” and inspire us to move on and do better as well.


So, what if one day we have the house, the car, the job, the clothes, the mate, and the adventures we’ve always wanted. I guarantee you that even in that nirvana, something new will catch your eye.


Don’t give yourself a hard time because you haven’t reached all the goals you’ve set and aren’t basking in the glow of all the new shiny things you’ve always wanted. They weren’t there in the beginning, you’ve had some form of them, and new forms of them are on the way. Just sit tight.


You’re not where you thought you’d be at this time in life, and you never will be. That’s the way it’s supposed to be because there’s more out there for you, wait and see.


With a little wonder, a little faith, and a fluid mindset, you’re ready for what comes next, and next, and next...


If you’re not where you wanted to be in 2023, start looking forward to 2024 with renewed hope. If you need some encouragement in the new year, book a call with me and let’s talk about how I can support you in being Better4U and Better4All.❤️


Take care and be well,



Family moving
You may not be where you thought you'd be in life but you are always where you're meant to be.


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