The title of this blog may sound a bit sad to readers. However, you will be surprised to know that while it sounds negative, it’s really a positive that provided a pretty impactful, teachable moment.
As we all know, moms do a lot. Even with technology and the “sharing of household duties,” most home and family management falls to mom, except in a few rare cases. (I see you out there dads!) Calendars, “can do” attitudes, and energy drinks aside, sometimes, it just doesn’t always go to plan.
It was in one of those “mom does it all” scenarios that this teachable moment arrived.
It’s only October 22 and it’s been a whirlwind month. For some reason, everyone in my family has seen every medical professional you can think of from the eye doctor to the dermatologist.
Who scheduled all those appointments? Mom. But that’s not the point 😁. Well, it kinda is.
The point is, that in the midst of all these appointments, the sports, family events, and running a business, who had to schedule them and who had to make sure everyone got to them. Mom.
So, on a beautiful Fall day, I worked the schedule like I always do. Reveling in my mastery of the family Google calendar!
✅ Work done
✅ Homework done
✅ Practice over
✅ Dinner made
✅ Mail picked up
And then, the phone rang at 5:15pm.
“Mrs. Capece, this is Dr. Teles’ office.”
“Yes,” I reply curiously.
“Mason had an appointment at 5:00pm.”
“Ah,” was the only word that could escape my lips.
“Would you like to try and come in or do you want to reschedule?” the caller continued.
I sheepishly replied we would need to reschedule as I had not anticipated another outing that evening. And just like that (*SNAP*), my Wonder Woman cape lost all it’s starch and fell flat.
After many apologies and double checking of calendars, I began to wonder what went wrong. My system was perfect, but I guess it wasn’t.
I spent the rest of the evening trying to figure out how I could let that happen.
My husband turned on a game, and my son went upstairs to play video games.
Neither of their lives had been disrupted. So, why did I feel so crappy?
As luck would have it, my son had another appointment the very next afternoon. Sensing I was a little worse for wear, my husband offered to take him. (Great move on his part.) What was his first clue: the frazzled look on my face? The baseball cap containing wild hair, or the two-day old sweatshirt I was wearing?
The appointment was at 7:00pm. As they sat there, time started to pass. 7:05pm, 7:10pm, 7:15pm…
The provider stepped out around 7:18pm with the previous patient and plentiful apologies for running behind.
Upon returning home, my husband recounted the appointment to me along with the follow up items and a little story.
“We were sitting there forever, and I was starting to get worried,” he said. I cast a curious gaze at him.
“At one point, Mason turned to me and said, maybe mom messed that one up too?” he said with a slight chuckle.
I can’t confirm it, but I believe the look on my face did not reflect the shared humor about the situation or comment that he had anticipated.
Ta-da, the teachable moment had arrived!
A realization washed over my husband that he had been part of the problem and not the solution and looked to make a hasty exit. Before he left, he shared that he realized I had juggled more than a couple things in the last few weeks, and he understood it must have been a lot. He would take on a few more of these types of things to lighten the load.
In light of this epiphany, I let him live.
However, the message was clear, help a lady out every now and again!
Moms do a lot, but we shouldn’t have to. I hope it’s not too unrealistic that our family members will one day miraculously start to think to themselves, “I should pick up those clothes, wash those dishes, schedule my own appointment, or make up that bed.”
And this is where we need to make our voices heard as well.
Why do we need to do so much? We don’t.
There’s no shame in the support game and we need to let go of the feeling that it’s not right if it wasn’t done by us.
Since then, I’ve been delegating like crazy. If those shirts are not folded the way I fold them, who cares? They are folded. If the dishwasher is not loaded the way I load it, who cares? The machine is running.
I wrote a blog on March 25 titled, “Gender Balance in the Home Supports Life Balance for All” that speaks to a great deal of this. It’s finally time to live my own wise words! Even coaches need coaching sometimes.
This mom won’t be messing anything else up because from now on, I’m sharing the responsibility of keeping the wheels spinning and the tracks greased.
I encourage you to do the same.
Put your cape back on and smile!
Are you taking on too much and feeling guilty about being everything to everyone? Book a complimentary call with Committed Change Health & Wellness to help you let it go and be Better4U and Better4All!
No messing around!
Take care and be well,
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